Trust
Let’s talk about trust y’all.
Trust is a hard subject to discuss let alone self reflect on. Most of us are always wanting trust from friends, family members, co-workers, etc. I don’t blame you! Of course we want to be able to trust, it brings a sense of security and safety. Trust goes beyond interpersonal relationships. When someone has trust issues (spoiler alert: most of us), it means they don’t trust themselves. It’s not about whether or not you can trust someone or something else, it’s about whether or not you can trust YOUR OWN FEELING of whether or not to trust them/it. It has nothing to do with the other person or situation. It’s a lack of connection with self that leads to trust issues. I know this may be a new concept to some, or even frustrating to hear. Stay with me please.
So how do we build trust with ourselves? Let’s start with where we break trust, as that’s the place where we decide to either strengthen or weaken our own trust. Trust is either built or destroyed in those small moments with yourself, the moments where you tell yourself you’re going to do something then do the opposite.
“I’m done eating” (*takes another bite)
“I’m only going to have one more drink” (*has more than that)
“I’m done with this relationship” (*stays in it)
“I’m getting up at 7:00 AM” (*snoozes multiple times)
You see, these are the make or break moments. They happen all day long, no matter how big or small they feel. It all adds up. You gotta trust YOU before you can trust things outside of yourself. Level up your game and hold yourself accountable. Please remember to be compassionate with yourself in moments you break your own trust, throwing negative energy at yourself does no good for you.
I also want to stress that for anyone reading this that has had their trust broken in significant ways that involved loved ones or other, this doesn’t mean you are responsible for what they did to you. However, the reality of the situation is that the wound they left is yours, and only yours, to tend to. You have the power to heal and rebuild your own sense of trust. Just like everything, change starts on the inside, within us. When we expect or want something external from us to help us or “save us”, we are giving away our own power. We are disempowering ourselves compared to taking responsibility and recognizing we can empower ourselves. We can “save ourselves”.
I hope this brings some clarity and awareness to our own relationship to trust. The more we trust ourselves, the more confident and self-assured we are. We are strong independent people, build your own trustworthy foundation.
